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Breaking the Cycle

August 17, 2010

I’ve been in a really grouchy mood for the last few days. I had no reason for it. My life is quite wonderful and I have a lot to be thankful for, and yet, I was cranky and yelling at everyone around me. Especially the people I love and people who’re patient with me. Mentally, I knew that this was ridiculous and that I should snap out of it, but I just couldn’t get myself to do it.

I tried many different things: I went out to meet friends and be social, I read books, I exercised, I spent time with my kids, I spent time outdoors, I went to bed earlier, I ate more fruits, I watched TV and did nothing. But none of them worked. My mood refused to go away. Some of the activities made it disappear temporarily but then it would come back full force.

And then, this afternoon, some kind people said nice things about my art. Enough to get me to sit at my table and scrap again. I didn’t worry too much about what I was creating. I picked my photo and chose my story. And I just sat to scrap. With no one to impress and no stringent requirements. I just scrapped. I thought only of making myself happy.

And it worked like a charm.

By the time I was done, my bad mood had completely disappeared. My bad mood was stopping me from making art but all I needed, all along, was to actually sit and do it. It’s like a vicious cycle. You need to break it so it can stop. So this is just in case any of you are in it. Where I was. I want to scrap but I haven’t in so long. I wish I could make the time to paint. I wish I could journal in my art journal. Or maybe it’s not art but music. Or sewing.

Whatever it is that you’ve been putting off, the thing that you know makes you happy but you’re too unhappy to do it, I am here to give you the nudge you need to go do it. Give yourself permission to do it badly. But just sit and do it. Break that cycle.

You’ll be so glad you did.

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