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The Bad Place

December 14, 2010

There’s a bad place where all your thoughts are negative. The place where you’re mean to yourself an everyone around you. You wallow in self-pity or resentment or anger or frustration. You take everything from the worst possible angle. You make mistakes and then get angrier. You snarl at the people you love and then feel disappointed in yourself. And the cycle goes on and on.

Please tell me I’m not the only one who goes to that bad place.

I’ve been living in that place for the last couple of days. I am not entirely sure how I got there or why I’m stuck there but here I am. I’ve been grouchy and mean and having major meltdowns over the smallest things. It has not been fun and I go to bed each day determined to snap out of it and wake up each morning back in that place.

But here’s the thing: even during these dark days, I’ve had amazing moments of gratitude and joy.

People have been kind and understanding and generous with me. I’ve had moments of laughter. I’ve felt good about accomplishing a task and finishing some todo item. Even if they were fewer and far in between, they were there.

So if your week or day is going like mine have been, I urge you to pause and pay attention to the moments of gratitude you have in the middle of darkness. To me, those are little bits of hope seeping in to remind you that life is not nearly as bleak as it seems right now.

That’s what practicing gratitude is all about: paying attention to the good. Because some good is always there.

Always.

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