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No Filters

December 16, 2010

I often feel that there is a child lurking inside of me. One that wants to have fun, play, be amazed by the smallest things, and that has no filters. I feel sad that she’s trapped. I’m not sure how to get her out. I know she used to be there, when I really was a child, but somehow, someway, I learned to still her and keep her quiet. I learned to fear, to judge, to not speak my mind. I learned to be polite and politically correct. I learned that she had no place in my life as an adult.

It’s amazing to watch my children growing. Children are the best negotiators. They have no fear and really try their hardest to get their way. They, also, have no idea about what society thinks is acceptable. They make friends with everyone and they don’t care if those friends look different than them or think differently than them. They see only the inside light of their friends. That natural attraction where one good heart attracts another good heart. Those hearts feel joy around each other and they have fun. They don’t worry about clean houses or types of cars or clothes. They don’t fear being judged. They don’t even know what it means.

Life changes us through our experiences and our parents change us through their beliefs, but I honestly believe that the little children we stifle as we grow need to remain closer to our forefront. Those filters we’ve thrown up can hurt us more than they protect us. Some things in life need to be taken seriously, but most do not and those are the times when our inner child should be free to just be.

I know the place in my heart where my inner child is hiding is getting closer to allowing me the key to release. I’m grateful to feel this. It’s only when I had children that I started to learn that I had forgotten how to really have fun, let things go, and love without judging. When I’m really good at doing these things. When I’m able to do them without thinking, I know I won’t feel my inner child pounding to escape. She’ll just be a part of me. A part I love with all my heart. And, I will rejoice.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. December 16, 2010 4:19 pm

    The worst part of growing up really is growing up. My journey is very similar :) Enjoy that child!

  2. rireQueeksDus permalink
    December 29, 2010 3:05 pm

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